That's how much less of me there is.
30 pounds.
I thought 20 was a big deal. Now I can say I'm more than halfway to my Goal. It's on the horizon, but at least now I can see it.
But of course now I have to start getting all mind fucked. I'm starting to wonder what my life will be like at Goal. How will my lifestyle change? How much has it changed already?
I know I have changed. I'm definitely more in-tune with my body. I never used to know what the difference between being Hungry, thirsty and just bored felt like. Let me tell you, Bored feels like hungry but to me more empty. I'm learning to fight this by being more interested in me. I like going to the gym and thinking. Just letting my mind run. I bought a heart rate monitor on the weekend. It's awesome. It really helps me be more aware of my body. I think it has improved my running. One thing that hasn't improved my running, this fucked up pain in my hip.
It started last week. Out of nowhere, I started running and it felt weird. It felt like my left leg was almost longer than the other so I was also like hopping on it. I guess that was just me favouring it. But after about 10-15 minutes into my run it went away and I could finish way stronger. Today though I couldn't handle it. The pain started out way worse than usual and I couldn't continue to the point where it didn't hurt anymore. I've been taking painkillers today to make it feel better but honestly what the fuck? I'm not impressed. I'm also kind of scared. I watch The Biggest Loser almost religiously and the last few seasons some girl always seems to get a hairline Femoral Head fracture. Basically, it's a stress fracture that is on where the top of your thigh bone goes into your hip. And when it happens all the doctors can do for them is tell them to take it easy and stop running. That's what's scaring me. I really don't want to stop running. I love running. It's my desert at the end of my workout. I'll be really sad.
I'm not working out this weekend because I'm way to busy so hopefully that can be enough rest and I will be able to start strong on Monday again. I have two months left until my Birthday so hopefully I can start my 25th year with something even more to celebrate!
But in super amazing news, I fit into my GOAL JEANS! If you've seen me lately you already know this. I wore them out already and it was glorious. Now I'm just waiting to get into my goal dress. Also I went shopping this weekend for the first time in forever and actually started fitting into some Medium clothing. This is amazing. and now because of these purcheses I've slowly started cleaning out my closet and drawers. Anything to big for me is being sent away to charity. I'm hoping that by not having big clothes the options will not be there for me in case I start to "fall off the wagon".
Okay early morning tomorrow so it's sleep time.
